Janie Porter is a mother of four. Her oldest child is 6 years-old, the youngest 4 months. Life at her house is busy and hectic. Like many mothers these days there seems to be a lot of pressure to do it right. If you don’t, criticism will fly.
“The most mom-shaming I often see is moms talking about each other behind mother’s backs,” she says.
One of the biggest triggers is breast feeding.
“When I post about that on my blog, ‘She Just Glows’, people go crazy. Mostly in a bad, negative way. Everyone has their own opinion on how to feed their kid, and people get pretty insane about that,” she says.
Janie sees mom-shaming all the time on her posts, like when she tried to find her dog a new home so she could concentrate more on her kids.
“One comment read, ‘you don’t give away your companion just because you chose to have three b-r-a-t-s’,” says Janie.
Other hot topics that people love to critique are how to discipline your kids, co-sleeping and paid help.
“I have a full-time, live-in nanny. That is something people can roll their eyes at,” she says. Janie says she is blessed to be able to have help, but she often times feels the need to explain why she needs help.
“In our culture, we as moms aren’t really encouraged to ask for help, and sometimes if we ask for help we are made to feel like we are weak or not doing enough.”
While it’s not necessarily criticizing paretning skills, Janie says having a perfect post-partum body is just not reality, and that’s okay. She uses her blog to tell moms they are doing a fantastic job simply because they are a mom.
“The fact is, I have the rest of my life to be skinny, but my kids are only little once.”